006 – Emotional Intelligence – Self-management

Self-management involves using what you know about your emotions to manage them in a way that generates positive interactions with others or positive outcome in work situations. Just simply acknowledging the fact that you are feeling a negative emotion is a big step in your journey to prevent you from losing control of your behaviour.

It is extremely important to practice self-management as it could benefit all aspects of life. It can be hard being around someone who can’t control their emotions, whose reactions depend on their mood at that particular time. Achieve results by shouting at and bullying team members is the past way of working and no one wants to work in that kind of environment.

Now, I am not saying you should never be angry ever again because there are times when anger is a perfectly reasonable emotional response but the key to self-management is being able to control your emotional and channel it to produce positive outcomes.

Some of the competencies that are part of self-management are:

  1. Emotional self-control – controlling impulsive emotions
  2. Trustworthiness – being honest and taking action that is in line with your values
  3. Flexibility- being able to adapt and work with different people in different situations
  4. Optimism- the ability to see opportunities in situations and the good in other people
  5. Achievement- developing your performance to meet your own standards of excellence
  6. Initiative – Taking action when it is necessary

Self-criticism or blame is a habit some people indulge in even when others don’t feel the same way. This is quite destructive and creates negative emotions. You need to recognize this trait of being over-critical and use the reflective cycle to evaluate your emotions and plan to view external criticism in a more objective way.

Many people close to me have the habit of blaming themselves for every little bad thing they do and dwell on the fact they got something wrong. This is a habit that is self-destructive and creates negative emotions. Why people want to make themselves feel bad is something that completely bewilders me.

Being mindful about your thoughts will help you out loads. When we are constantly moving and not giving ourselves some time to hit pause and just stop and think about…

If and when you decide to slow down we start to become more curious about observing and sometimes even challenging our repetitive patterns. And that’s when we can become more intentional with our thoughts, language and actions. You could overcome patterns such as self-critical thoughts by slowing down and giving some real thought into your own thoughts, behaviours and actions.

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